Thursday, January 1, 2009

Lessons Learned

Lessons I Learned in 2008:

  • My attitude is significantly better after the second cup of coffee.
  • It’s very cold in Wisconsin.
  • Ivomec doesn’t taste very good.
  • Never wipe your nose with the same glove that you just used to swat the behind of a cow down the chute.
  • Febreeze doesn’t eliminate skunk smell.
  • Neutra-Air doesn’t eliminate skunk smell.
  • Fresh linen candles don’t eliminate skunk smell.
  • Running a skunk through the combine eliminates the source of the skunk smell.
  • The couch has a secret compartment that traps playing cards, pens, magnets, Legos, Barbie doll legs, flashlights, and Teddy Grahams for nearly a decade before someone tips the couch up, hears a clatter, and cuts open the bottom to release the treasure.
  • Kids don’t require a fancy vacation; a sprinkler and a $5 wading pool will suffice.
  • A fifth grader’s trombone holds a lot of spit.
  • Children progress from the age of 11 days to the age of 11 years in a split second.
  • Taking a shower when the cows are watering is not a good idea.
  • If a child falls from a tree in the forest, he makes a sound like a breaking arm.
  • They make casts that glow in the dark.
  • When you begin to feel like your home doesn’t measure up to the homes of others, just visit the chicken house which used to be someone’s house. It will humble you.
  • If a farmer tells you to just leave his lunch at the gate, listen. Don’t try to predict which way he’s farming in order to hand deliver the lunchbox unless you’re willing to walk two miles and waste 90 minutes of your day.
  • Landscaping is not my gift.
  • When helping a spouse administer medical treatment to a steer, it’s best to be the person delivering the medical treatment and not the person hanging on to the back leg of the steer who has intestinal distress.
  • Teaching kids to avoid eating yellow snow is best done at a very early age.
  • If a five-year-old has a stomachache, it means he has an affection.
  • If an electronic rain gauge in Montana receives eight inches of rain within a few weeks’ time, it will go into shock and cease functioning.
  • If a child says that he feels like throwing up, listen to him. Better yet, get a bucket.
  • Fifth graders are too cool to make Christmas cookies with their moms.
  • If the Christmas tree falls down once, it will likely go down again in the very near future.
  • If the UPS man accidentally lets the puppy in the house when you’re gone, make sure the Polly Pocket dolls are not accessible.
  • Every new year brings endless possibilities.

Happy New Year!


Jenny said...

Here's to not knowing how to landscape!! herehere!!! LOL! Actually, I find that I have great ideas and don't mind DESIGNING landscapes. But for the plants to actually survive is my downfall.

Reddunappy said...

All of it to true ROFL ROFL

Julia in Sweden said...

You could never hear too many words of wisdom!
Happy New Year!

Prairie Chick said...

loved it!

Anonymous said...

It takes a lot of humor to relive the past doesn't it? Great post!

Andrea said...

OH goodness!! Those are funny! And definalty a lot of lessons learned!! I loved the ones about wiping your nose with the same glove that you smacked the back of a cow with?? LOL!! Too funny!!

Happy New Year!

I don't always comment but I do always read, I have really enjoyed your blog in 2008 and I look forward to the 2009 year!!

threecollie said...

Terrific as always!

Frazzled Farm Wife said...

LOL....very funny!

Anonymous said...

Sound like you learned some really valuable lessons. LOL. I love the wiping your nose one..

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