Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The Real Conflicts In Marriage

When we were first married, I assumed our largest sources of conflict would be major issues like money and parenting. Now, after enduring enjoying more than 13 years of marital bliss, I know that the sources of conflict that cause the most problems are the little annoyances of daily life.

If I were to counsel engaged couples, I would make sure to ask them the following questions:

- Are you a toothpaste tube roller or do you prefer to squeeze the tube right in the middle?

- After you brush your teeth, do you rinse off the toothbrush and shake the excess water into the sink, or do you suck off the excess water with a slurping sound?

- How do you feel about drinking milk straight from the jug?

- Does your filing system include alphabetizing papers in folders as soon as they arrive in the mail, or is it more akin to piling the papers up on the desk in towers in no particular order?

- Where do you stand on teaching children to belch in public?

- When you roll over in bed, do you wrap all the covers around you as you roll, thereby leaving your sleeping partner shivering on the edge of the bed?

- Will you promise to never, ever leave a strand of hair in the bathroom in view of your spouse?

- In your opinion, does a clean car mean no French fries ground into the carpet, or does it mean there is not a speck of dirt and the dash gleams in the sunlight?

- How often do you feel the dust bunnies under the washing machine should be cleaned?

- Do you consider a trip to town for parts and a stop at the McDonald’s drive through a date?

- At what age do you feel it is appropriate for your children to independently ride horses, drive tractors, or have their own motorcycle?

- How many gun and farm magazines do you feel should be displayed on your bathroom shelves?

Those recurring little annoyances can be the death of a marriage if patience and a sense of humor are not applied wisely (and liberally). I'm thankful that our marriage is blessed with both since I'm afraid that none of the issues above will be resolved anytime soon.


Ashlee said...

You left out a few

Do you return the twisty tie to the bread or do you spin the bag and fold it under?

Do you prefer to pull the toilet paper from the top or bottom?:)

Andrea said...

Ashlee has some good ones! It's so true how those things can really get your goat!! I hate the hair in the sink after he shaves!! That drives me nuts. I clean the bathroom every Saturday, then on Sunday he shaves! Sigh....maybe I should start cleaning the bathroom on Mondays?

Bill Harshaw said...

Do you believe in "his" and "her" snacks in the refrigerator, or is anything fair game?

What is your comfortable temperature in the house 70 degrees, 80 degrees?

Do you talk before breakfast?

Do you honor appointments to the exact second, or is an appointment a general goal?

Jenny said...

Do you prefer the toilet paper ON the roll, or just leave it on the window sill or floor next to the toilet?

How many glasses/plates/wrappers on the table next to the recliner does it take before it warrants being picked up?

If spouse comes in from field at 4and eats a couple of sandwiches and left overs, does wife need to still fix a big dinner for all, or can soup and sandwiches or Mac and Cheese suffice.

If spouse eats all of an ingredient meant for a specific dish for dinner the following night, should wife make spouse run all the way to town to replace the item (such as: all the pepperoni or motz cheese for a pizza; all the bacon for BLTs, etc)

Mama Koch said...

Do you wake up grouchy or do you let him sleep?

Mama Bear said...

LOL love this.

Ethan, Zach, and Emma's Mom said...

Do you put the dirty dishes you've used right into the dishwasher, or do you leave them to pile up in the sink?
Ahhhhh. I feel better, thanks.

Kris said...

How about when you take your wife along in the pickup to do a farm chore, do you move the 10 various farm tools off the seat so she can sit comfortably or do you expect her to sit on all that stuff while you hit every pot hole and bump you can find (since you're scanning for non-existant wildlife while driving instead of watching the road)?

Anonymous said...

Do you feel game head mounts constitute tasteful decorating? How about fish? Do snapshots of Mighty Hunter with said dead animal prior to heading to taxidermist count as "framed art"? Do you consider a gun cabinet considered a "piece of furniture."

On a side note regarding decorating, do you feel that spurs slung over a dining room chair back give a home that "eclectic" decorating feel so sought after in the magazines?

Why, yes, yes, I DO live with a hunter. How did you *ever guess? lol.

Anonymous said...

LOL!! You got us started now Erin! This is fun to read!
Robin in MN

Dawn said...

Do you turn down the volume for commercials or just let the tv blast away - and adjust the volume of your conversation accordingly?

Do you wash loads of laundry (sorted by color) or just do a load of everything that's needed for tomorrow?

Is a fishing trip also considered vacation?

Should new fishing waders zap the clothing budget for the month?

threecollie said...

Early in our marriage we discovered that two sets of covers were going to be necessary. Both grew up in barely heated houses. Both knew how to make those covers work keep out any kind of cold. Makes for an interesting style of bed making.....

Haf Dozen Reasons....... said...

This is a hoot! Glad I joined in a day late and got to read it all! You hit a nerve Erin!!!! LOL I would add some but I think you and your readers covered them all!!!!

~ Straight Shooter ~ said...

THAT is a fabulous post!
I will so be plaguerizing soon...
I am so glad to hear you have a sense of humor to liberally spread around...seriously, how else would we put up with them???

Mikey said...

So funny and so very true...

lol, and I'll add my part. We sleep under a king size cover on a queen sized bed. Problem solved. sort of...

That's a keeper post right there.

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