Tuesday, October 21, 2008

You Know You're A Farm Wife If . . .

You call the implement dealer and he recognizes your voice.

The vet's number is on the speed dial of your phone.

Your second vehicle is still a pickup.

Your husband has ever used field equipment to maintain your lawn.

A night out involves the local 4-H club.

You've ever washed the kids or the dishes with a pressure washer.

Picking rock is considered a chance to get out of the house.

Taking lunch to the field is as close as you get to a picnic.

You can mend a pair of pants and the fence that ripped them.

The shopping list in your purse includes the sizes of filters, tires, overalls, chains, belts, lights, cables, spark plugs or shotgun shells.

The directions to your house include the words miles, silos, last, or gravel road.

Lacey or Frilly is a farm animal, but not your nightgown.

Your farm equipment has the latest global positioning technology and you still can't find your husband.

Quality time with your hubby means you'll have a flashlight in one hand and a wrench in the other.

Sharing a cab has nothing to do with a taxi and everything to do with getting across the field.
No one leaves your house without eating something.

You're equally adept at helping with your children's math homework or the complicated spreadsheets that detail every item bought, sold or misplaced on the farm for the past 10 years.

You can deliver a calf, drive a combine, cook dinner for a half-dozen hired hands, and still make time to pick the kids up from soccer practice.

You're equally at home at a PTA meeting or in session with a commodity association committee.
Your name is taped to the side of all your cakepans.

The "fresh ingredients" your recipe calls for reminds you to do the chores.

You have lots of machinery and each piece is worth more than your house.

Grass stains are the least of your laundry problems.

Your refrigerator contains LA-200.

Your wedding was planned for the end of November so as not to interfere with calving, lambing, seeding, summerfallowing, haying, harvest, or hunting season.

You automatically fall silent when the weather comes on.

You buy toilet paper 128 rolls at a time.

You can make a meal that can be ready in six minutes and will still be ready in two hours.

Your job in town is considered a farm subsidy.

Your son beat up another kid on the school bus arguing over the color of tractors.

You laughed at every one of the items on this list.

(Stolen from an email I received long, long ago.)


Lacey Jo said...

Not a farm wife yet...but as a farm girl and watching my mother...these are so so so soooo true!

Dawn said...

As a suburban wife, I could chuckle at most of your points and could relate them to something in my own world. A couple of the items though brought a "Huh???" to mind! Ha ha! Guess that's how I know I'm NOT a farm wife, right?


threecollie said...

I not only laughed out loud..I had tears running down my face from laughing so hard...then I read it out loud to my husband! Great post!
You sure do understand farm life.

Jenny said...

Yup to dang near all of them. Why is it must we have so much toilet paper? some for the camper, a roll or two in each vehicle, tractor, swather and combine (cuz they don't have toilets in the field!). But really, I'm AMAZED at how much we use in the house!! LOL!

Kath said...

I can relate to alot of those. Especially to Lacey and Frilly!!!

Even tho I am somewhat not even a farmwife. I live in a small rural town and farm 450 miles away from home.

fawndear said...

Farmwife at heart and can still relate even though my farm is only 1/2 acre and I have no monster-big machinery.
Loved this post!

Nancy B said...

Oh, ha, he, oh - please stop, I can't breathe! These are so true! Thank you for the great belly laugh.

Ethan, Zach, and Emma's Mom said...

That was great. I'm not a farm wife, but I grew up on a farm. The picnic one? So true. Some of my fondest memories are of my mom and I bringing Daddy salmon salad sandwiches out in the field during haying!

Anonymous said...

Sigh, I'm in Canada, farming with hubby and find it is so true. How many get the LA-200 one? Thanks for such a great job on your blog. Each one is a treat for me to read.

Chris said...

I'm printing this out... sounds identical to my MIL's life... very admirable, and quite unique. The 6 minute/3 hour meal still scares me. whoa.

Tj and Mark said...

too funny

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