Monday, April 7, 2008

Google Me

The writer of a blog that I happened upon last week had the bright idea to look up all the search terms that her readers had used to discover her site. I was curious to know what brought people here, so I did a little digging in the stats log and found some search terms that made me laugh, shake my head, and wonder exactly what people are thinking. I have narrowed it down to the top 15 to share with you.

15. "is hot dog comfort food"
Anyone who has ever read The Jungle by Upton Sinclair will know that there is nothing whatsoever comforting about eating a hot dog.

14. "bareback flickr"
I don't even want to know what you were looking for.

13. "pioneer days, a kind of table for children on holiday"
Sometimes you just have to wonder.

12. "raising cow Montana shane" and "raising several kids in a small house"
Two search entries which, in a nutshell, are what this blog is about.

11. "meanest mom in America"
Yep, you've found her.

10. "day 26 kid q"
Who is kid q, and are we really on day 26? Because I thought this was day 22. I must have missed something.

9. "country wifes"
should really make an effort to learn correct grammar and spelling so as not to perpetuate the myth that anyone who lives in the country is an uneducated hick.

8. "wooden teeter tator"
It's a difficult task to find a wooden teeter tator. I'm sure that's why this individual resorted to looking on the Internet. I'm fairly certain he didn't find one on this blog.

7. "goodnight sweet heart here we go"
I'm missing something again. Where were we supposed to be going again?

6. "humorous job description of farm wife"
If this person spent any amount of time on this blog, I'm sure he found what he was looking for.

5. "raising a good kid in a bad world"
I think this person needs to hook up with the person in #4; he seems to be on the right track.

4. "manure shovel for kids"
I'm thinking someone missed curfew.

3. "essay on marital life problems"
If you're googling about marital life problems, you might want to skip the essay and go straight for the book.

2. "marital advice humorous children"
If the children are making jokes about your marital advice, you might want to reconsider your career choice as a marriage counselor.

1. "husband elastration"
Two questions:
Why would one google this? and
Why would one's google search lead them here?

Honorable mentions: "best country to raise kids" (the country farthest away from a city with an airport); "wake up call" (that's what you get when you search your wife's history and find that she's been googling "husband elastration"); "what is a wife’s job" (that's what you google when you can't find a good essay about "marital life problems")


Let Them Be Little said...

Those are too funny! It is amazing what people search for and equally amazing where the search leads them.

Ibleedgreen said...

Shane!! Come back Shane!!

Beth from the Funny Farm said...

Actually there is a small sized version of a kid's shovel perfect for manure.. sold in the Tractor Supply Stores!

OMG.. on the husband elastration. "Elastration" is that like stretching it out like a... **never mind!**

Jessica said...

I am laughing so hard right now!

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